2 Gifts

God has given us two gifts - one to take our minds off of the world, its drama and its temptations, and one to take our minds off of ourselves.

The Peel

Ben doesn’t know it yet, but he is making his greatest sacrifice at the end of his life. He is losing his sanity, his ability to enjoy life, and even his relationships - everything he loves in this life. He lives in a constant state of anxiety because he cannot understand what is going on around him nor how to get what he wants. His whole life was built on the very things that are crumbling around him now.

My son, now 16, is also making a sacrifice. He lives in a home filled with eggshells and anger. He makes an effort to stay out of the way of his grandfather, but also makes himself available to watch him if both my husband and I need to leave the house at the same time. He helps around the house and has regular sparring matches with his father.

The Fruit

He doesn’t realize it yet, but Ben is giving us perhaps his greatest gift yet. Through our trials with him, we are learning so much and being broken of so many things that enslave us. It’s painful, uncomfortable, and depressing at times. But, the end result is beautiful and beneficial.

I am learning things like:

The importance of relationships

Compassion and empathy toward others, especially when they are suffering

Patience

Long-term rewards vs. immediate good feelings

Finding the good in what seems to be bad

Not being afraid of what someone thinks about me

Not responding to anger with my own anger or in defense

Keeping my mouth shut at times

Noticing God and God’s work

Just this morning, my husband and I were talking about how we may never have learned some of these lessons without Ben’s sacrifice. Our focus is so consumed by him that we are less focused on the Covid19 crisis, on our own desires, and on what we deserve.

But, if Ken and I were alone in this deal, we would become totally consumed. We could never go out together. Our conversations would revolve around how well his dad is doing and how well we are holding up. At home, our friends give us occasional breaks and on vacation our son draws us into his world. He loves to play disc golf so he and Ken go out every morning to play. When I have an errand to run, I have a partner to go with me. We laugh and enjoy life with our son in the midst of living in the trenches with Ben. This is a great gift.

***

7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. 8 For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. 9 “Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or, if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!

Matthew 7:7-11 NET