Books upon books upon books say that we cannot fix the problem. Whether a person is sick or grieving or depressed, the best thing we can do is be present in love. Advice can be helpful when delivered at the right time and place, but rarely when we feel like giving it. (Especially for one such as me!)
The Peel
But, I long for fixing the problem! It is so uncomfortable being faced with someone’s pain and not doing something about it! Surely I can help in some way, right?!?
My son and I invited Ben to join us in watching a video on TV. He accepted the invitation and grabbed a bowl of popcorn as the movie started. Halfway through the film, he stood up and walked out. He was done.
When the movie finished, we let Ben know that we were available once again to do something with him. He opened his heart to us and explained that his Alzheimers disease prevents him from being able to enjoy anything like that. He can’t follow the storyline or retain any of the details. He was sad and watching the movie reminded him of his loss. In that moment, I wanted to find something (anything!) to say or do to help him.
The Fruit
I stood up, hugged him, and told him I love him. I have never been physically affectionate with Ben, but it was the only response I could come up with in the moment. Out of helplessness, I did an impractical thing that simply showed love and presence.
And for the first time ever, he said to me, “Now, this is a good thing.”
You never cease to surprise me, God. In my weakness, you gave Ben peace and joy through me. Thank you.
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