People with dementia have brain damage. From my understanding, only portions of their brain is damaged so only part of their memory and behavior is affected. This changes over time, of course, as their dementia gets worse and the size of the deteriorating portion grows.
The result is an adult who has the experience of an adult, the knowledge of an adult, and who deserves the respect of being an adult. But, there are times when he acts like a toddler. His behavior mimics that of a child who has not yet made the neuron connections in his brain to act in a control manner.
The Peel
“Yuck! This has crunchy things in it! If you’re going to cook, why don’t you make food!?!”
Ben got up from the dinner table and started walking around the kitchen and spitting out his food. We had ordered take-out gyros, salad, and baklava. He didn’t like the baklava because of the filo pastry on top!
Earlier that day, we had served him toast using a wholesome bread with embedded seeds. That elicited a similar response.
The Fruit
I have to control myself at times to keep from laughing. It’s not uncommon to see a toddler acting with this behavior, but it can be funny to see a grown man acting this way. The truth is that childish behavior is the sad evidence of a man who is falling apart. He acts like a two-year-old because he doesn’t have the brain capacity to act otherwise. He cannot be disciplined or trained nor can he mature out of it.
The part of me that wants to laugh is the part that lacks compassion for Ben. I “forget” in some small way that he has a disease and that this is to be expected. I look for him to behave like a normal man. But, the part of me that wants to cry or feel pity is the part that I want to grow. I want to expect childish behavior and have compassion when I see it.
***
Dear Lord, help me to see Ben through your eyes. Guide my thoughts and mold my heart.
“God does not view things the way people do. People look on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7 (NET)
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