I love to draw. Someday, I’ll draw again. And when I do, I will have a whole new approach to focal points. The location of the focal point determines so much about the look and feel of the artistic scene. I’m gaining a whole new appreciation for the power of perspective.
The Peel
We have been keeping Ben for seven months now. We live each day one-at-a-time so it feels like time is advancing very slowly. Everyone asks how long we will keep him. But, how can we know? We can’t predict what tomorrow will be like, let alone what it will be like in a year or two or five.
Suppose we intend to keep him for 2-3 years - is that such a long time? What about 5 or 10 years? Can my body handle the stress for so long? What am I giving up versus what am I gaining? Am I choosing this path or is it happening to me? Did I make a mistake to take on this challenge?
It’s tempting to focus on the unknowns and the what-ifs, but they only lead to a heavy heart. Part of me is desperate to have control in my life, to know what the future holds, and to have some sense of security that it will have all been worth it. This part has hopes and dreams. It wants to make plans and it fears missing out on the good things in life. It grips me and I grip it back while the sands of time slip through my fingers.
The Fruit
On the other hand, looking back, I’m surprised how fast the time has gone. Seven months sounds like a long time, but we are finding our rhythm and the time is marching by faster than I would have guessed. If I think about it, seven months out of twenty years of marriage is short. Even shorter is that same period of time compared to my life of already 52 years plus whatever I have left. Compared to eternity, it’s just a blip. No matter how long we tackle this challenge, it isn’t unreasonable when put into that perspective. Surely, people have had harder things to deal with for longer periods of time!
We survive day-to-day, but we are learning to set our sites on something in the distance. Focusing on the future takes our minds off the temporary pains. Whatever may come today does not have to affect the big picture. What do I want to achieve in this life - can I learn something from this experience that will further that goal? Am I giving of myself toward something I believe in - what is it? Do I have the hope of heaven - am I growing in love and faith toward that promise of peace?
These are the questions that point to purpose and lighten the burden. The length of my days doesn’t change, but my resilience and attitude do.
Lord, everything in the world is telling me to focus on immediate needs and pleasures. Protect me and keep my eyes on what is important.
“Therefore we do not despair, but even if our physical body is wearing away, our inner person is being renewed day by day. For our momentary, light suffering is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison because we are not looking at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen. For what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal.”
2 Corinthians 4:16-18
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