Mind Tricks

Ben’s mind plays tricks on him. He does his best to explain to us what he is thinking. As a result, we go crazy trying to make sense out of his limited vocabulary and hand motions. Every mind trick of his turns into a mind trick for us, too.

The Peel

The other day, Ben had a memory of having taken pills that he never took. When I explained that he still needed to take his evening medication, he threw the pills at me. I lost my sense of reason and tried to argue with him about it. He never did take them and it took me an hour to settle down.

I couldn’t find my phone yesterday and even calling it didn’t help. Eventually, I found it in Ben’s pocket. As it turned out, his pockets were stuffed full with his electric razor, handfuls of tissues, two phones, his snow hat and face mask, and a slew of toothpicks. He never tires of packing items in hopes of moving home, but we do.

Now he’s talking about thousands of people who are waiting for him to show up. We don’t know where, who, or what he is imagining. When he has enough cognition to hold a thought, it’s likely he will leave the house. People have suggested putting extra locks on the doors, but he is only likely to leave when he has enough awareness to unlock everything. We breathe a sigh of relief when he goes to bed.

Our newest mind trick involves urination. He went to great extents to convince both me and my husband that “all his life” he has urinated into a can before pouring it into the toilet. He’s upset because he doesn’t like the can that we provide because it has a brush in it. (Trust me, I got rid of it right away!)

The Fruit

We are having fewer mixed feelings about Ben’s pending move-out. This really is a blessing. It would be very sad if there was any question about the timing of sending him away. I’m thankful to be more and more certain that we are making a wise decision.

Each mind trick reconfirms that we can no longer care for him properly. His bodily functions are failing as well. We are having to do things that are completely out of our comfort zone and experience. So, we keep reminding ourselves that we have only weeks left to manage this madness.

We can taste the end of this stage of dealing with dementia.

***

My child, if your heart is wise, then my heart also will be glad;

my soul will rejoice when your lips speak what is right.

Do not let your heart envy sinners, but rather be zealous in fearing the Lord all the time.

For surely there is a future, and your hope will not be cut off.

Psalm 23:15-18