My husband started taking a business class which distinguishes between a “job” and a “calling”. A job is how you spend your time and effort on something that makes you the money you need to live. A calling is your investment of time that serves a larger purpose, the purpose at which you are most difficult to replace.
Clearly, in this moment, our calling is as primary caregivers to his father.
The Peel
It’s hard to see the greater purpose in this. How can there be purpose in dementia? What is the benefit of reducing our days to half-capacity? Ken and I split time staying at home so together we can function at full-capacity for one person. Why does Ben’s marriage have to end in pain? So many questions left are unanswered.
Yet, we have a clear answer to the question of our calling. No one but his family can administer the loving care he needs. No one but his family could receive the verbal abuse we do and respond with the patience and gentleness of a loving son. Ken is in the unique position of being both strong and available to dedicate his time 24/7 to his father’s care.
The Fruit
Even when we don’t understand the reason why we are in a situation, there is something very comforting to know that we are right where we are supposed to be. We fill a unique role and we fill it better than anyone else. There is plenty of doubt about how well we are doing our job and about how long we will have this calling, but there is no doubt that we are doing what God has called us to do.
Because of that, we can trust that God will make it known to us when our calling as caretaker is over. He doesn’t promise to show us our future, but he does promise to show us our next step. Perhaps our next step is to continue on; perhaps it is to make a change.
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Command those who are rich in this world’s goods not to be haughty or to set their hope on riches, which are uncertain, but on God who richly provides us with all things for our enjoyment. Tell them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, to be generous givers, sharing with others. In this way they will save up a treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the future and so lay hold of what is truly life.
1 Timothy 6:17-19 (NET)
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