Transactional leading focuses on performance and motivates via rewards and punishments. Rewarding my children for making their bed is a form of transactional leadership.
Transformational leading focuses on passing on the value and importance of a person’s goals. Teaching my children about being good stewards of their resources and giving their best effort in any situation would be examples of transformational leadership.
Many of us lead by transactional leadership, but expect transformational leadership in return.
The Peel
Ben is no exception.
I get all kinds of praises for doing his laundry and making his breakfast. He is also quick with the rebuke if I perform under-par. Each transaction is a win-or-lose opportunity for me.
Yet, he doesn’t want to be told what to do. He wants to do things his way and in his timing. This means that I have to convince him of the importance of a thing in order for him to do it. This means talking in a soft voice until he puts his hearing aids in, finding ways to remind him to take his medication without actually implying that he had forgotten, and waiting to help him until he makes it clear that he wants help.
The Fruit
It begs the question, “Am I like that?” Do I give orders and expect compliance? Then, in return, do I expect others to convince me of something’s value before I’m willing to take action?
I suppose the answer is yes. I’m quick to assume that people either think the same way I do or they trust my solutions. If I’m met with resistance or non-compliance, I get annoyed. Yet, I didn’t eat a healthy diet until I got sick. I refused to follow Jesus until I was looking for a purpose that would outlive me. I drag my feet to obey social rules, to keep up with current affairs, and to get involved in anything that is trending. Why? Because I’m not convinced of their importance.
Ben has helped me understand the difference between transactional and transformational interactions. May the Lord help me grow in transformational love and leadership.
***
Below is one of my favorite Bible stories about two sons - one was transformed during his pursuit of temporary pleasures while the other became embittered by being focused on his performance. The Father loves them both, yet only one realizes it.
![](https://static.wixstatic.com/media/898ca0_bb335f3371d448c38d61ca762e438732~mv2.png/v1/fill/w_569,h_468,al_c,q_85,enc_auto/898ca0_bb335f3371d448c38d61ca762e438732~mv2.png)
To illustrate the point further, Jesus told them this story: “A man had two sons. The younger son told his father, ‘I want my share of your estate now before you die.’ So his father agreed to divide his wealth between his sons.
A few days later this younger son packed all his belongings and moved to a distant land, and there he wasted all his money in wild living. About the time his money ran out, a great famine swept over the land, and he began to starve. He persuaded a local farmer to hire him, and the man sent him into his fields to feed the pigs. The young man became so hungry that even the pods he was feeding the pigs looked good to him. But no one gave him anything.
“When he finally came to his senses, he said to himself, ‘At home even the hired servants have food enough to spare, and here I am dying of hunger! I will go home to my father and say, “Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son. Please take me on as a hired servant.”’
“So he returned home to his father. And while he was still a long way off, his father saw him coming. Filled with love and compassion, he ran to his son, embraced him, and kissed him. His son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against both heaven and you, and I am no longer worthy of being called your son.[b]’
“But his father said to the servants, ‘Quick! Bring the finest robe in the house and put it on him. Get a ring for his finger and sandals for his feet. And kill the calf we have been fattening. We must celebrate with a feast, for this son of mine was dead and has now returned to life. He was lost, but now he is found.’ So the party began.
“Meanwhile, the older son was in the fields working. When he returned home, he heard music and dancing in the house, and he asked one of the servants what was going on. ‘Your brother is back,’ he was told, ‘and your father has killed the fattened calf. We are celebrating because of his safe return.’
“The older brother was angry and wouldn’t go in. His father came out and begged him, but he replied, ‘All these years I’ve slaved for you and never once refused to do a single thing you told me to. And in all that time you never gave me even one young goat for a feast with my friends. Yet when this son of yours comes back after squandering your money on prostitutes, you celebrate by killing the fattened calf!’
“His father said to him, ‘Look, dear son, you have always stayed by me, and everything I have is yours. We had to celebrate this happy day. For your brother was dead and has come back to life! He was lost, but now he is found!’”
Luke 15:11-32 (NLT)
Comments